to my youth (a poetry collection)

by Jaiden Li

i. to that little girl in the mirror who always had a smile on her face whose dreams were not bound by sky nor sea, who excelled in everything she put her mind to: i confess that your excellence soon became my curse. your effortless perfection, your unwavering brilliance how you’d breathe out masterpieces; that became the bare minimum to earn the privilege of being loved. to that little girl in the mirror, who would soon learn of the exhaustion of the world, whose wings would soon melt in the heat of reality; you will cherish the joy in your present for the terrors of tomorrow.

ii. to that little icarus in the screen who started her inevitable descent, who was locked in her tower for the crime of knowing too much: i confess that i was foolish; you will crave the sun’s golden embrace, you will yearn for gaia’s plague-ridden world, your own mind will no longer obey you. the cards you have been dealt, that you held close to your chest, will claw out your heart and unravel your soul. to that little icarus in the screen who fed the starving sun their feathers; nüwa molded you out of clay, athena breathed life into your soul for a reason. you will find the courage to exist.

iii. to that little dreamer hereafter who will look upon these letters and laugh at my naïvety who will take this poem in their hands and breathe their newfound life into the words i confess that i am exhausted. i am tired of flying, knowing of the eventual fall, knowing that my aching body will find a cruel solace cradled by poseidon’s dark depths. i am tired of being told to wallow in the wings when my soul yearns for the sun. to the little dreamer hereafter, who will be free of their shackles i hope that you will cradle my tender soul and let not its cruel memories of yesterday haunt your beautiful tomorrow