Fifteen easy ways to heal

Mone D. Moore

Fifteen easy ways to heal

1. Eat stale pizza on a Tuesday morning while writing a draft of your own will

2. Sit outside of the doctor’s office twenty minutes past your scheduled appointment time; tell the receptionist that you got stuck in traffic

3. Craft useless knick-knacks out of empty prescription bottles and toothpicks

4. Sleep on the couch for thirteen hours straight and pretend that the imprint your body leaves will disappear by tomorrow

5. Stay up until 4 AM watching infomercials; order a blender and then cancel the transaction the next day

6. Pretend to believe the doctor when he says you’re improving

7. Call your mother; let the phone ring three times before hanging up

8. Paint the south facing living room wall “Cheerful Sunshine;” run out of paint halfway through and cry about it

9. Take up knitting; knit a glove with six misshapen fingers

10. Sit on the porch and watch the remnants of last night’s storm trickle from the gutter and into a puddle on the lawn while smoking your first joint; ignore the neighbor’s dirty looks as you cough

11. Ask the pharmacy girl how her cat is doing

12. Hide from the mailman and ignore the growing pile of boxes at your front door

13. Choke down six saltine crackers before vomiting into the kitchen sink; drink warm tap water to wash down the sandpaper in your throat

14. Lay wheezing in your bed as you stare out into the foggy night; count how many airplanes you see

15. Exhale